Pathways to Wholeness - Archives
Archives of the monthly 'Pathways to Wholeness'
series by Judith James will be presented here for your reference.
March 2008
Being Right
What are you willing to
give up, to sacrifice in order to be right? And being right does
not make it truth.
Some of us are willing to
give up love, family, relationship, career, health, abundance and
even our lives to be right.
What is this bogus loyalty
to being right?
What part of our self
demands being right at the cost of loosing everything else?
It is the part of us that
sees ourselves as separate and in that separateness we find our
feeling of inferiority that is masked by our act of being right,
being superior.
In order to move from the
postionality of being right to embracing the inclusion of others
rights, compassion for ourselves and others must be in our hearts.
The need to be right is run by fear. The inclusion of others is a
result of love.
To understand what runs
your life, please reread my article on Love and Fear in the
archives.
http://www.womensempowermentresources.com/pathways_archives.asp
February 2008
TRANSFORMATION
This has been a life
long journey that has had a new beginning in January. The whole
month has been one of renewal and transformation.
The first part of
January was used to transform on a personal level and the experience
started when I signed up for the course in November and was
totally committed to transforming myself and my life. My life
was not working. This web site did not take off the way I had
intended, my coaching business dropped to zero and the “Pathways to
Wholeness” on the
site never got off the ground. To top all of that my other sources
of income dried up. All of this added up to a big message. I needed
some miracles in my life and I needed them now. Once I signed up the
miracles started coming to support me. They came from where I least
expected and they included monetary support. Figuring out ways to
do the same things, differently did not work either. Transformation
was the name of the game that was needed here.
The second part of
January was taken up by another course (money supplied by someone
else) which transformed community for me. I have set the stage and
here is the story.
As a psychotherapist
and spiritual seeker, I thought I had finished my issues with my
Dad. I still had unfinished business. I also had unfinished
business with my two sons. My Dad was unreceptive to my attempt to
rectify the past and create a future that was open to
communication. My sons were receptive and now we have space to have
open and loving communication and relationship. The realization for
me was that I did not have a voice when it came to talking with my
Dad. I was still afraid of him as a four year old child and of
course this fear has colored and twisted all my relationships with
men and this included my sons. I was a master at pretending that
all was well when dealing with men however there was always fear in
the pit of my stomach. I have been able to acknowledge that fear
and this has allowed me to release more of the past and put it in
the past so that I can create a future without that pattern being
projected into the future.
I have just finished
the second part of this education course. From it I realized my
playing field was too small. I had started to move into the bigger
arena, however I had another piece of the past holding me back. At
the age of four, I made a decision that was to run my life, without
my awareness. The story: My Dad had knocked my Mother out and she
was lying on the floor. I was standing there screaming and I
thought my Mother was dead. In that split second, which the course
termed the first failure, (I couldn’t save my Mother) I decided that
I was alone. Over the years that decision translated into ‘I’ll just
do it by myself’. A global community cannot be created by someone
that will do it by herself.
That part of the
past has been put in the past and no longer runs my life. Awareness
transforms the dynamics of life.
As I was
transforming, how I personally wanted to contribute to the world
began to take shape. I am always learning and once I have learned
something, I become bored and am ready to move on. However the old
program was to stick it out, stay with it, don’t be so flighty. I
have excellent skills that allow me to initiate projects. I have
abilities and training that will allow me to help organizations
(profit or non-profit), businesses, towns, villages to agree on
goals and implement them. I thrive on pulling all the players and
the people together and getting the focus on the project instead of
the individual agendas, which is where most organizations break
down. Once the goal has been clarified, people and the tools are in
place, I can then move on to the next challenge. If I can be of
service to you, your organization, your business, just email or call
me and we will have a conversation about how best to proceed.
It is my desire,
that in the sharing of this transformational journey, you will be
inspired, encouraged and you will be helped in your own transformation.
When I created
Women’s Empowerment Resources web site, I did so to provided a place
where no matter where you are in the world, you could use this site
to access services for woman provided by women or those whose
primary clients/patients were women. A fee was being charged so
that the site could be maintained. Your listing on the site is now
FREE and funding for the maintenance will come from somewhere else.
I encourage you to list and be a part of this global community of
women and please forward it to others (associates, health care
professionals, personal service providers) anyone that would benefit
from being listed and can be of service to others. You will be
reminded on an annual basis to update your information so the site
remains current. If things change please update your listing. Your
help is needed to reach the goal of being the #1 global resource directory
for women and the goal date is September 1, 2012. My gratitude is
sent to each of you for your help in reaching this goal.
January, 2008
The
Gifts of a New Year
A new year brings with it new hope for all of
our cherished wants and desires. It also brings with it a
responsibility to respond with new ability. The ability to choose
our responses based in the present moment rather than re-action from
past similar events. If we continue to do the same things
(re-action) we will continue to get the same unsatisfying results.
We will have just created more of the unwanted same in our lives.
In order to create our lives anew each moment,
we need to release old expectation, old programming. To create a
new world, a new way of life for ourselves, the child-like qualities
of wonder, curiosity, and enthusiasm are the main ingredients.
These child-like feelings come from the feelings of Love. When you
re-act to the present moment out of memory of the past it is usually
tainted with prejudice. Our prejudices give us a sense of security
(false), a sense of knowing (false), all this to makes us right.
The desire to be right is what creates self-fulfilling prophesy and
keeps us from living the life we want to live. Can you see how this
has worked in your life?
We all start out in the New Year with our list
of “good intentions”. However, our lists are sometimes too long and
too overwhelming and within a week we have forsaken our good
intentions. Choose from your list only one thing that you truly
want in your life. It could be something physical, a car maybe;
something mental, a class maybe; something emotional, letting go of
jealousy; something spiritual, praying or meditating for 20 minutes
a day. You get the idea. Take your cherished desire and write it
down at the top of a piece of paper and then draw a line down the
center. On one side of the paper write all the reasons you can’t
have what you want and on the other side write all the reasons you
can have what you want. It must be written because then you are
telling you inner- self (sub-conscious) that you are serious about
having this desire fulfilled. In writing your can and can’t list be
sure this is without judgment and monitoring. After you have done
your list fold the paper so that you can look at only the reasons
why you can have what you want. Each morning read your list over in
a state of contemplation and do this before you go to sleep at
night. It only takes a few minutes and the reward far out weights
the effort. As long as you concentrate on the ‘can’ reasons you
will manifest your desire. If you find that the ‘can’t’ finds more
space and time in your conscious thoughts than the ‘can’, look the
‘can’t’ in the eye until you know it has no more power over you.
After all, these are your thoughts, you are the creator, you have
the power to give or take power from your thoughts. It is your
responsibility to decide which thoughts you want to empower. You
can change your life by changing your thoughts.
May your New Year be filled with gifts of
empowerment and fulfillment.
November/December, 2007
Manifestation &
Worthiness
Your logical mind says ‘yes’ I am worthy. – I
work hard, I do all the physical things I need to do to get what I
want, what I deserve; I think the right positive thoughts, I have
gratitude in my heart; I deserve to have what I want. However, if
you have a contrasting, conflicting belief and it is hidden from
you; you will not get what you want. Not because you don’t deserve
it, haven’t done all the ‘right’ things. The reason is that you
have a belief (habitual thinking), somewhere within you, that has an
automatic program that stops the flow of your desires, wants and
dreams.
Have you ever seen or heard of a man or woman,
that have become millionaires? Then within a short period of time
they loose everything and then the whole process is repeated all
over again. This is the main theme in their lives. If we were to
go back in time we would find that in their formative years, they
desired something very, very much. They did everything they could,
within their power to achieve or fulfill that desire. Then the
desire finally manifested and they were so happy and proud of their
accomplishment. Then something happen, who is to say what, and the
desired thing was lost. The emotions that were felt could have been
sadness, grief, anger, any of the emotions that come from fear. (see
article on Love & Fear for list of fear based emotions). So the
feeling of fear continues to control the outcome of their wants and
desires. This scenario will continue to be re-created until the
pain is so intense that the question ‘why’ is asked.
Once we sincerely question the ‘why’ of events
that create pain for us and do self-reflection, looking inside
ourselves for the answers, then and only then do the answers start
showing up. Keep a journal with a separate page for each ‘why’
question and as you get answers write them down. You can also find
a soul companion (someone that has your best interest at heart-male
or female) where you can share your insights. This person is to act
in the role of witness, one validating your awareness’s, your soul
growth and allowing you to speak your truth. Usually once you have
the awareness to the core level of your Being, you can let it go.
That belief no longer serves your highest good.
As you move through your different beliefs and
release them, you will find that manifesting your wants and desires,
becomes easier and easier.
In gratitude and relief, you provide the same
service for your soul companion. This allows you both to know that
you are not alone, that someone is beside you and championing you
all the way to Wholeness.
October, 2007
Manifesting
We are always manifesting.
The question is: Are we manifesting from a desire of what we want or
from a desire of what we don’t want.
Did you ever notice how what
you DON’T want keeps showing up in your life? This is because you
intently focus, think and concentrate on what you don’t want. This
is how we create out of Fear. You use exacting visualization to
create what you don’t want in your life. It takes a hold of you and
the monkey mind just chews on it until you have every detail down to
perfection.
Now lets look at the other
side, which is what you DO want in your life and how that keeps
showing up. You do exactly the same thing. You intently think about
it, concentrate on it, you imagine it from all angles, you think
about how it will make you feel. You imagine it to perfection and
before you know it, you have it.
Let’s do an example and take
money. Remember, money is a medium of energy exchange. You expend
energy for money. Most of us concentrate on the lack of money. I
don’t have enough for any extras, I don’t have enough to pay my
bills, and actually the main thought is I don’t have enough money.
This thought is what you focus on and because we create with thought
this is what we get—not enough money. As long as we continue to
focus on not having enough we continue to not have enough. We are in
fear of not having enough and the intensity of the fear measures how
much of ‘not having enough’ shows up in your life. You can create
more money in your life by changing your thoughts, by focusing on
having money, what you will do with it and how it will make you
feel. You will need to be vigilant of your thoughts and feelings. To
change your life about money, you will need to change your thought
patterns. Your thoughts about money are just your thoughts and these
habitual thoughts become beliefs. Your emotions also act as a guide
to your thoughts. (re-read the article on Love & Fear for a guide to
emotions).
How do we manifest more than
enough money in our lives? We visualize it. Usually it is the things
and feelings that money will give us that we want, however let’s use
the actual money. Visualize how much money you have in your checking
account over and above your living expenses. Imagine how much
self-confidence that gives you. Imagine how much freedom that gives
you and how much enthusiasm for life you have when you have excess
money in your account. Now visualize how much money you have in a
savings account. Saving for a new car, home, education or just the
joy of having extra money at your disposal. Now visualize how much
money you have in your investment account. How the feeling of having
your money work for you, bringing you more money enhances your life
with more expansiveness, more confidence and more ease with life.
Here is an exercise that
will change your life about money. However this exercise can be done
with any habit or belief that you want to change. On a piece of
paper, at the top, write: I don’t have enough money. Then underneath
that, list all the thoughts and feelings you have about not having
enough money. Be sure to list all the reasons you think you don’t
have enough money. (smart, education, not lucky, etc) On a second
piece of paper, at the top, write: I always have more than enough
money. Now list what you will do with the constant steady flow of
money and how that will change your feelings about yourself and your
life. Keep both of the lists close to you, so that when you get into
the ‘don’t want’ mode, you can identify it and change it over to the
‘do want’ mode. If you will do this consistently for 21 days, you
will have changed your mode of thinking about money.
Recently, I had asked my
Spirit Self for a dream about manifesting. I wanted to know the
mechanics of manifesting in a visual way and of course Spirit served
up a perfect dream.
In the dream, on my inner
screen I was able to see side by side what I wanted and what I
didn’t want. Both the ‘have and the have not’ were outlined with
scattered points of light and some points of light inside the
outline. As I thought about the desired object, a bright point of
light shot from my forehead to the desire side of the screen. As I
thought about what I didn’t want a bright point of light shot from
my forehead to that side of the screen. With each thought a bright
point of light went to the appropriate side of the screen. As I
continue to think about what I wanted it became more and more filled
with these little energy lights. Once it hit, what I call critical
mass, manifestation occurred. Had the concentration been on what I
didn’t want, once it hit critical mass, it would have manifested.
As you visualize what you
want just put these little energy lights around it. It will be a
measure as to how close to critical mass you are. Just remember that
if you have ‘don’t want’ thoughts that side gets one of the energy
lights. It’s much easier if you make a game of it. The more fun you
have the easier it is to manifest. I know that if we are in the
state of fear it is difficult to have fun, however I encourage you
to play at this. Oh and the best part is, you don’t have to figure
out how the money will come. Your job (energy exchange) is only to
decide how much you want and how you will feel and continue sending
thoughts, energy lights to your desire side of the screen.
Be sure to practice on small
things to gain confidence with this process.
Next month the newsletter will be a
continuation on manifesting, and in the meantime please use the
Global Connection board on this site to share your experiences about
using this exercise to manifest.
September, 2007
Love & Fear
Thoughts become
things. As a man thinketh so is he. You are the creator of your
world. You create your own reality. All of these sayings are
telling you that you create everything in your life.
You might ask
yourself
How do I create
Do I Create Through Love or Fear
The two things that control our lives are the
feelings of Love and Fear and the beliefs that control these two
feelings. We humans are really motivated by only those two feelings
and they are the underlying polarities
that create your world.
I know everyone is
thinking, no, I have more feelings than that, however I make a
distinction here between feelings and emotions. Feelings are the
deep stirrings within, felt in the heart and the solar plexus.
These are very subtle and if you have not paid attention to that wee
small voice within, you would not notice them. You would only be
able to witness and experience the emotions that are triggered by
these deep seated feelings. Emotions play on the surface of our
lives to tell us what we are creating.
When we came into this
experience called life, our souls purpose was to experience the
freedom to create and the joy that comes from creating and
appreciating our existence. We have forgotten what powerful beings
we are and have become victims of our own ability to create.
Instead of creating just the feelings of joy, we have split the
feelings into two which are Love and Fear. From these two feelings
come all of our emotions.
Here are some guidelines of knowing whether you are in the feeling
of Love or Fear. Your thoughts create action or re-action and you
can tell by your emotions if you are creating out of Love or Fear.
So if you are coming from a feeling of Love, these are the emotions
you would express: contentment, hopefulness, optimism,
positive expectation (belief), enthusiasm, eagerness, happiness,
passion, joy, knowledge, empowerment, freedom, love, appreciation,
gratitude.
And if you are coming from
the feeling of Fear, these are the emotions you would express:
grief, depression, despair, powerlessness, insecurity, guilt,
unworthiness, jealousy, hatred, rage, revenge, anger,
discouragement, blame, worry, doubt, disappointment, overwhelment,
frustration, irritation, impatience, pessimism, boredom.
By taking command of your thoughts you can create anything in your
life that you want. Sometimes the thoughts are very subtle because
they are attached to habits and beliefs. These thoughts have become
so ingrained in you through habit that you are not even aware of
them. Most of your actions in life are re-active and based on what
you see in your immediate environment and then your environment
triggers a memory (conscious or unconscious) to a similar situation
and once again you re-act to life in the same way as before. . If
you would change your life, be aware of thinking patterns and
re-active patterns. Your awareness alone is enough to change your
re-action to action.
So if you are in the flow
of joy continue to do the things that allow you to feel the joy, the
love of existence. Continue to think the uplifting thoughts that
keep you in the feelings of love.
And if you are in the
throws of fear, examine your thoughts. What thoughts continue to
repeat themselves that keep you in the bondage of fear. It takes
an awareness of emotion and it’s cause (thought) to change your
life. And as you watch your emotions, examine them with a critical
eye to discover what belief governs your fear.
Thoughts of gratitude can
move you out of despair into hopefulness. Even if the only thing
you can be grateful for is the sun or even the cleansing rain, this
moves you into more positive feelings of love. Thoughts and
feelings of love always change our perception of life and our world.
Take 5-10 minutes each
day, just to concentrate on what you would have in your life that
would make you feel better. Think only of what it is that you want
and if your mind brings in it’s usual ‘monkey chatter’, just direct
your thoughts back to what it is that would make your life better.
You have a powerful imagination and you can imagine your life the
way you want it. Your imagination is what created where you are
today. Did you create it through Love or Fear?
